Fishing For Ladies

Well I thought I would never do it, not in a million years! I jumped into the world of online dating. The real reason I did it was because I wanted to get laid! Joking aside (or maybe not), I've spent the last 2 1/2 years going through the divorce and unloading the house. Most of that time I lived the life as a fishing monk and that was mostly by choice. I didn't complain as I had all of the free time in the world and many of married friends longed for that life I was living. But, there was emptiness whenever I came home - nobody to talk to and no where to go on a Friday night. In reality, it made sense as I mostly work with all men and my favorite hobby - fishing is mostly men. Not to mention the fact that I'm 40 and there isn't a lot of places that cater to my age group, unless your into that honky tonk bullshit or listen to something gay like jazz.

I joined a free site on a recommendation from a friend and I started crafting my "sales" pitch to the opposite sex. It took a weekend and a lot of drinking when I finally finished it. I slapped it up with some photos and waited to see the results. During the mean time, I started window shopping and I noticed it was a mixed bag of good looking and ugly women in my age group. I started to read profiles and some were well thought out and other were pathetic. Some were absolutely brutal - like women showcasing their 3 kids in the pictures, others venting about every Tom, Dick and Harry that screwed them over or some 300lbs chick in skimpy lingerie ( That shit gave me the willies). I also started reading between the lines in the profiles and I'm good at it, as there were plenty of examples such as

"I like to have fun!" - I get shit faced every weekend.
"Looking for a REAL man!" - I'm pushy and I'll nag you to death until I get my way.
"Looking for Mr Right!" - I have so many wants, no guy will ever be good enough for me.
"I'm looking for a nice guy!" - a shoulder to cry on after hot guys banged me and leave me.
"I'm beautiful!" - I need to point this out, because no one tells me.
"I'm smart!" - I need to point this out, because no one tells me.
"I'm brutally honest." - I have no tact.
"I'm goal orientated." - Your ass better not be living in Mom's basement.
"I'm just looking for friends" - I'm looking for hot guys or gals to bang or I need to trick men into thinking I'm not after a commitment, even though I'll push for one after meeting a few times.

Online dating has its place and there are some looking to score and others for prince charming.

Online dating is very much like fishing. You cast out your line, hope you have the right presentation, wait for bite and you might get a response or sometimes the hook gets spit. You reel in your catch and have a quick decision whether you want to throw it back or keep it. But just like fishing you end tossing back a lot before landing that trophy. Unfortunately women are not like steelhead, because if that was the case, my calender would be full for the next decade.

Stay tuned................

No Fireworks for Me.............

It's the July 4th weekend and I didn't forget Canada Day as I celebrated with a couple of Molson Ex for the homeland and I saluted all of those hard working hosers across the pond. I was restless, what better way then to go on a road trip. Ever so often I get a hankering for destination unknown. Road trips are great for me because it gives me time to reflect on things and lately I've had some things on my mind.

I got up early, had a quick breakfast and a cup of Joe for the road. The destination was Clearfork-Mohican River which flows through the Mohican State Park located in Ashland County about 80 miles southwest of Cleveland. It's a place that has been on my to do list and that list is still pretty long.


With the window down and Rush's Red Barchetta blaring, the only thing missing was a blond haired girl sitting next to me and she would be probably yelling at me to turn down "that fucking music down!, I want to listen to John Mayer!" I finally got off the interstate and made my east through the rolling hills and farms. I pulled into the sleepy little town of Loudenville to see the downtown center closed for the July 4 festivities. I really enjoy finding those quiet, quaint towns full of Americana and nobody is ever in hurry to go anywhere.

I turned into the park and it was packed with campers, hikers, mountain bikers and lucky for me not one angler was in sight. The first impression of the river was it could been one of the many streams found along Steelhead Alley. It was fairly shallow and I could see schools of suckers feeding along the bottom. But I was after brownies and I knew they would be extremely difficult to catch because the Clearfork is one of the few streams in trout poor Ohio that has a population of them.


I knew it was going to be a tough day as the stream was low and felt somewhat warm. The river itself wasn't very deep as I'm more use to fishing big water. If the trout were being jerks, then I had the carp to chase. Unfortunately, they turned out to be jerks too. I searched out for any deep water or jumbles of lumber lying in the water. I managed a couple of chubs, but I couldn't find those elusive browns. Not catching fish doesn't bother me considering that comes with the sport. I have had days albeit few and far between where I couldn't catch a cold.


But what caught my attention was the mountain bike trails as I seen several people racing down the hills. I've always liked mountain biking but Cleveland doesn't really a lot to offer as most diehards often come to places like Mohican. During my divorce I sold my bike and after seeing that I might look into getting another one. It was around noon when I decided to start heading back and I had to check out the gorge. It was a quite a sight as the gorge itself spans over a 1000' across and drops over 300' into the valley. If I had brought along my hiking boots I would of tackled the trail.

Now that I checked off Mohican on the list, I'll have to look for another destination and hopefully the next time I'll have the blond haired girl next to me..........

It's Only June!!!

The tell tale symptoms of steelhead withdrawal are starting to show - constantly looking at the calender, heavier drinking and kicking small dogs. The past steelhead season seems like a distant memory and we're only into mid-June. I try to make summer go a little faster, the problem is, there isn't enough work to make it go faster!! I often sit in my truck like a zombie listening to my worn out Rush's Moving Pictures cd. With any recession, Ohio gets between the legs and a lot of folks are being tight with the money and I've been a penny pincher of late. I keep looking at the calender - July, August, September and my head starts to spin. Thank god for carp because I would probably would of hanged myself.

Unfortunately carp can be assholes and this past weekend the majority of them took pleasure in taunting me under the logs and trees. Usually I'll find some carp feeding and I often use my nymph patterns. But there are times when I have to coax them into coming out and play and that's where a baggie of corn comes in. A couple of weeks I tied some flies that resembled kernels of corn. I had some light yellow McFlyfoam and figured why not let's try it. I brought along some corn started carpet bombing the pool to get them fat pricks to come out. Slowly but surely they ventured out and there were a couple of biggies in the range of 15lbs that cruised along the bottom. Being the big game hunter, I set my eyes on 2 monsters. I watched them probe the bottom sucking up the kernels and I made my move. A short cast and a quick mend and I watched the fly slowly drift downstream towards one of them. The fish rose slightly and inhaled it and quickly bolted after I set the hook. This fish ripped off almost 50yds of line and I was into my backing quick. After one long run and I simply started hauling him back upstream only to have the hook pop out in front of me. I figured he probably tipped the scales at 15lbs. I bounced along the river looking for players and I was kept busy for most of the afternoon.

Hoping we get to make the trip to Indiana this August for Skamanias and I hoped Bubba's fishing gear got sent to Moose Jaw instead of Saskatoon. I'm sure he'll rub in his fishing trip at Wollaston Lake and make me turn green with the endless pictures of 40" pike and 20lbs lakers.......

I Have A Place For Sea Kittens..........On My Plate

The group that outdoorsmen love to hate or my case ridicule -PETA are at it again. Over the years, PETA had made know that anglers are the scum of the earth and need to be sent to re-education camp to learn that fish are people too. Several months ago they started the hilarious fishing hurts ad campaign to start having people call fish "sea kittens" since fish are slimy, emotionless and not very cute. Their logic for the term was to make fish appear more cuddly to children and nobody wants to chop off a kitten's head and gut it on the spot. As expected with most of their campaigns was meet with ridicule and others shrugged it off as well PETA being PETA. If that crap wasn't enough, they have something else in store for the general public - a fish empathy center?? WTF??

PETA is looking into purchasing the Kewaunee Pierhead Lighthouse in Wisconsin and turn it into some anti-fishing education center that would make North Korea proud. Here's the bulletin posted by PETA's spokesbot - Karin Bennett

Several historic lighthouses in the U.S. and Puerto Rico have been "excessed" by the National Parks Department and are now up for grabs, at no cost, to nonprofits and other eligible entities.

Of course, when we heard this, a light bulb lit up over our heads— coastal lighthouse would be the perfect place for to set up the national headquarters for our Fish Empathy Project.

In hopes of luring Dan Wenk, acting director of the National Park Service, with our bid, we've written him a letter outlining some of the details of our proposed exhibit.

PETA's center would feature educational displays proving that fish are intelligent animals who learn tasks, use tools, show affection, and feel pain when they are dragged from the sea in nets or impaled on hooks.

The lighthouse would also be home to the world's first Fish Empathy Quilt, a 300-square-foot quilt that pays tribute to the billions of fish who are abused and killed every year—as well as a café serving delicious faux-fish sticks and other tasty fish-friendly foods.

We'll let you know if he bites

I hope the National Park Service tells PETA (no pun intended) to jump in the lake. I'm sure a fish empathy center fit perfectly in say uber left San Francisco, but Wisconsin?? The sportsmen of that state will give PETA something to bite on and I'm guessing it's not a tofu burger.

I'm into conservation seeking to protect our streams from over development and pollution. But, I worry that the next generation isn't taking up fishing and that favors a radical group like PETA. It's sportsmen who are the ones looking to protect wildlife and fish habitat, not a bunch of zealots. That's why whenever I see a youngster fishing, I go out of my way to help them.

If this plan goes ahead, I'll mark as one of my first destinations and haul the rods and chair and fish off the pier, catch a bunch of kittens and have a monster cookout with the bros......